Redefining Purpose: Soul vs Sole
For a long time, we’ve been sold the idea that purpose is one grand, singular thing—a destiny we must chase, a calling we must fulfill, an identity we must step into. But what if that belief is what’s actually holding us back? What if our definition of purpose is burning us out or holding us back from evolving instead of fueling us?
“What If Purpose Isn’t Just One Big Thing?”
I remember laying in Savasana in my living room, during a virtual yoga class in 2022, when the instructor said:
"What if purpose isn’t one big thing? What if purpose is created every day by aligning our behaviors with our values throughout every season of our lives?"
My heart knew right then and there—this was another one of those monumental perspective shifts in life.
We often associate purpose with career, passion projects, or a deep sense of mission. But what if purpose is something we create daily? What if it shifts with the seasons of our lives, aligning with our values and showing up in different ways as we evolve?
Reflection Questions:
What do I define as my purpose? Do I feel connected, disconnected, or attached to that definition and those roles?
Is my sense of purpose coming from an unmet need, past identity, or pattern I’m trying to rewrite? Is it safe for me to let go?
The Purpose Wildfire: When Passion Becomes a Trap
Dr. Suzie Carmack’s Purpose-Centered Well-Being Theory introduces an important concept: purpose wildfire. Much like fire, purpose can be a powerful, beautiful force—but if left unchecked, it can consume everything.
When we over-identify with our sense of purpose, we risk losing harmony in life. We might:
Overcommit to work or advocacy, leaving no time for rest or joy.
Disconnect from relationships because we are too focused on our mission.
Neglect self-care, thinking it’s a distraction from “what we were born to do.”
And perhaps most importantly—when we become too attached to what we define as our one true purpose, we risk disconnection from our authenticity, sacrificing SOUL for sole.
If we don’t allow our purpose to evolve, then how can we allow ourselves to evolve? And isn’t that the very nature of our being—to grow, to change, to become?
Purpose should kindle our inner light, not burn us out. It should nourish us, not deplete us.
Harmony Over Balance: The 7 F Buckets from Driven
Instead of seeing life as a balancing act where everything must be equal, Dr. Douglas Brackman’s 7 F Buckets offer a different perspective—harmony over balance. It’s less about dividing time and effort equally across all areas of life and more about ensuring alignment so that life flows beautifully.
The 7 F Buckets serve as a check-in tool for this harmony:
Faith – Your belief system, spiritual practice, or inner grounding.
Fitness – Physical health, movement, and well-being.
Friends – Social connections and community.
Family – Relationships with loved ones, chosen and biological.
Finances – Stability, security, and financial well-being.
Fun – Joy, playfulness, and things that make life feel alive.
Future – Goals, aspirations, and long-term vision.
“Think of an orchestra. Each instrument has a function, and while not all play at the same time, each contributes something vital to the piece. Some instruments play more frequently, some only in key moments—but without each one, the music wouldn’t be complete.” — D. Brackman, Driven.
If one bucket is overflowing while another is empty, it may be time to shift focus — time for a different instrument to play. When we align with our values across these areas, purpose emerges naturally rather than becoming an all-consuming fire.
Flourishing, Engagement, and Servant Leadership
Dr. Suzie Carmack outlines three ways to conceptualize purpose well-being:
Flourishing (Self-to-Self):
Personal growth, autonomy, self-esteem, meaning.
Achieving goals while maintaining optimism and balance.
Engagement (Self-to-Others):
How present are we in our work, our relationships?
Do we get lost in what we love, in a fulfilling way?
Servant Leadership (Self-to-Community):
Serving others ethically, building up people, fostering collaboration.
Leading with humility and shared power.
True purpose isn’t about proving something to the world—it’s about standing in your sovereignty, choosing self-worth, and allowing yourself to simply be.
What Is My Purpose Right Now?
My definition of purpose has evolved. For me, it’s not about finding the one thing I was born to do. Maybe my purpose today is as simple as self-love. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s deep presence. What I know is that when I fully embrace who I am in each changing moment of my life, I give myself permission to grow. And with that growth may come a shift in what feels purposeful for me. At times, it may feel like a death of one version of myself, and simultaneously, a rebirth into something new.
Navigating Transitions: Trusting the Process
In these chapters of transition — when I feel disconnected from purpose — it sometimes feels dull, overwhelming, uncertain, sticky, melancholy, and even frightening. During these times, I have to open myself up to curiosity—to explore, to try and feel my way through until that flame of passion is lit again. And when it is, I can let the flame of passion warm me and illuminate a new path and connection with purpose —without letting the fire consume me. With awareness, a deep connection to Self, and check-in tools like the F Buckets, the Purpose Well-Being Concept, and yoga philosophy providing me the foundation for “how,” I can trust that I will align with what feels purposeful again.
Redefining Purpose: Sole Purpose → Soul Purpose
This redefinition of purpose—this shift from singular obsession to well-being, from balance to harmony—isn’t something I adapted to overnight. It has been, and will continue to be, a lifelong journey. This perspective shift occurred for me when life provided (and continues to provide) the opportunity to remodel the House of Sabella, sometimes from the foundation up. But that’s a blog post for another time 😉
